In what might be the saddest news of the year, it seems we’re all at least a little depressed…

Or at least that’s what representatives of the world’s largest champagne companies believe, as their sales are at an all-time low! They say there’s seemingly less cheer in the world, and that’s why we aren’t popping bottles like we once did.

I mean, it also feels like we just don’t have the money to spend on that anymore, so that might be part of the problem. But also, who wants to go through the day after finishing a bottle of champagne? The headache, the bloating—it sucks!

I’ll celebrate with a diet Mountain Dew and be in bed by 9:30!