Anyone else totally underprepared for this second winter we got hit with?! I for one took less that two steps outside today, then seriously contemplated walking right back inside and calling the boss with a deadly excuse as to why I wasn’t going to make ‘er in today. Sadly, most of these came to me after it was too late. Either way, here are some solid options to use to get out of…. anything, I suppose.

7. Accidentally superglued your fingers together and you’re waiting for the glue to wear off. That’ll get you a half day off forsure.

6. You won money on an online casino last night and still have some left to play with today. Gotta keep goin’ when the gettin’s good as they say. I don’t know who they are, but “they” must be smart. Oh wait, I think the saying is “get out when the gettin’s good.” Let’s ignore #6.

5. Your pet is giving birth. Just try to avoid saying the pets name on the call if it’s a dudes name. For example, I don’t think “Gordon is giving birth” would work that well for me.

4. You packed away all my winter clothes last week, so you don’t have a jacket. Safety first my friend.

3. Woke up in a good mood and don’t want to ruin it. It’s simple, straight to the point, and hard to argue with.

2. This one is more of a tip for any excuse. Use “again” after anything, and it’s way more believable. For example, “my aunt tried to poison me, again.” Or “my kid electrocuted herself one her hair straightener, again.”

1. Just put a casserole in. This one works especially well right now, when everyone is hyper aware of the cost of food. Can’t let it go to waste.

BEST OF LUCK!!

-ryder